Poland is supposed to have a new ruler. That's better for me, better than chaos and frontal clash with the European Union. Like this, things might continue as usual. I would be able to live in Europe without bothering about work permits and so on. I would be able to take my books and sell my apartment. Who knows, I might even be able to spend the summer there.
For the rest, it is a perfect solution. Poland slowly falls into itself, with the new ruler that is so consensual. Things will get back to normal again. Krakowski inteligent, katolicyzm, episkopat. Oh yes, I see those new keywords on the horizon. Even me, who do not share the same attachments, I feel the familiar smell of it, literally, with full nostrils. Especially, it is striking how the supposed liberal opposition made peace with the bishops, only weeks and months ago stridently accused of paedophilia.
Some people used to believe that Poland is a deeply divided nation. It is not. Those recent developments show very clearly how deeply the country is one, unified, without alternative. How easily it fell into perfect consensus with itself. It causes me no other feeling than mild disgust.
And here we are, on the opposite shore of the river. Once again, we simply outstayed History, rather than outsmarted it.
Who is "we"? A mere rhetorical devise. There is no "we", of course. There is nothing between myself and them. Not even the determination of calling them "them".
I lived through such a crisis before. A crisis of separation. It was when I lost my family. Lost, I mean, in psychological terms. When I stopped nurturing feelings about them. I remember it was also a Ramadan. In spite of the ritual prohibition, I went to draw blood, to establish my blood type; I didn't know which it is. It was a symbolic gesture. It meant that from then on, if anything happened to me, let's say a car crush, I was on my own. I felt exposed, unprotected. And I made that test to get a little orange card with my blood type, in case of accident. To increase my sense of safety. As simple as that.
Perhaps I will get back to Kraków soon. To finish packing my books and finally selling that damned apartment, before I move to Paris this autumn. I wish I could go to the zoo again. I could even travel through Poland, for the last time.