EWA A. ŁUKASZYK
  • Home
  • ABOUT
  • THEORY & EXPERIMENTS
    • BEYOND TRANSMISSION
    • DESERT
    • EROTICISM OF TRACE
    • INTIMATE MICROSPHERES
    • NON-CULTURAL MORPHOGENESIS
    • PINWHEELS
    • POETICS OF THE VOID
    • SYMBOLIC MATRIX
  • RESEARCH & PROJECTS
    • DISCIPLINES >
      • LITERARY THEORY
      • COMPARATIVE LITERATURE
      • GLOBAL LITERARY STUDIES
      • GLOBAL HISTORY OF IDEAS
      • CULTURAL THEORY & ANALYSIS
    • AREAS >
      • ISLAMIC STUDIES
      • CLASSICAL ARAB LITERATURE
      • MAGHREBIAN STUDIES
      • MEDITERRANEAN STUDIES
      • EURO-MEDITERRANEAN LITERATURE
      • ROMANCE MEDIEVAL & EARLY MODERN STUDIES
      • FRENCH & EUROPEAN FRANCOPHONE LITERATURES
      • PORTUGUESE STUDIES
      • LUSOPHONE AFRICAN STUDIES
      • LATIN AMERICAN STUDIES
    • FIELDS >
      • TRANSCULTURAL HUMANITIES
      • TRANSCOLONIAL & TRANSINDIGENOUS STUDIES
      • MARITIME HUMANITIES
      • APOCALYPTIC STUDIES
      • EROTICISM & SEXUALITY STUDIES
      • PLANT & ANIMAL STUDIES
    • TOPICS >
      • TRAVEL LITERATURE
      • WRITINGS ON ART
    • UNSOLVED QUESTIONS >
      • LANGUAGE BEYOND MEANING
  • TRAVELS & LITERATURE
    • ARCTIC & SCANDINAVIA >
      • GREENLAND
      • ICELAND
      • NORWAY
      • SWEDEN
      • FINLAND
      • DENMARK
    • EASTERN EUROPE >
      • ESTONIA
      • LATVIA
      • LITHUANIA
      • RUSSIA
      • BELARUS
      • UKRAINE
      • POLAND
      • Forty Years of Travel in Poland
      • CZECH REPUBLIC
      • SLOVAKIA
      • HUNGARY
      • ROMANIA
      • MOLDOVA
    • WESTERN EUROPE >
      • IRELAND
      • SCOTLAND
      • GREAT BRITAIN
      • NETHERLANDS
      • BELGIUM
      • LUXEMBURG
      • GERMANY
      • AUSTRIA
      • LIECHTENSTEIN
      • SWITZERLAND
      • FRANCE
      • MIDI
      • ITALY
      • VENICE
      • SICILY
      • MALTA
      • CATALONIA
      • SPAIN
      • PORTUGAL
      • CANARY ISLANDS
    • THE BALKANS >
      • SLOVENIA
      • CROATIA
      • SERBIA
      • ALBANIA
      • BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA
      • MONTENEGRO
      • BULGARIA
      • NORTH MACEDONIA
      • GREECE
    • CAUCASUS >
      • GEORGIA
      • ARMENIA
      • AZERBAIJAN
      • CHECHNYA & INGUSHETIA
      • DAGESTAN
      • A Ride across the Caucasus
    • MIDDLE EAST >
      • EGYPT
      • TURKEY
      • CAPPADOCIA
      • CYPRUS
      • LEBANON
      • ISRAEL
      • PALESTINE
      • SYRIA
      • IRAQ
      • KUWAIT
      • JORDAN
      • SAUDI ARABIA
      • QATAR
      • UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
      • BAHRAIN
      • OMAN
      • YEMEN
    • MAGHREB & SAHEL >
      • AL-ANDALUS
      • MOROCCO
      • TUNISIA
      • ALGERIA
      • LIBYA
      • SAHRAWI REPUBLIC
      • MAURITANIA
      • MALI
      • BURKINA FASO
      • NIGER
      • CHAD
      • SUDAN
      • FULANI WORLD
      • MANDINGA WORLD
    • WEST AFRICA >
      • SENEGAL
      • GAMBIA
      • CAPE VERDE
      • GUINEA-BISSAU
      • GUINEA
      • SIERRA LEONE
      • IVORY COAST
      • GHANA
      • SAO TOME & PRINCIPE
      • TOGO
      • BENIN
      • NIGERIA
      • CAMEROON
      • EQUATORIAL GUINEA
      • CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC
      • GABON
    • THE HORN OF AFRICA >
      • ETHIOPIA
      • ERITREA
      • DJIBOUTI
      • SOMALIA
    • THE SOUTH OF AFRICA >
      • CONGO
      • UGANDA
      • KENYA
      • RWANDA
      • BURUNDI
      • TANZANIA
      • ANGOLA
      • ZAMBIA
      • MALAWI
      • MOZAMBIQUE
      • ZIMBABWE
      • NAMIBIA
      • BOTSWANA
      • LESOTHO
      • ESWATINI
      • SOUTH AFRICA
    • INDIA & INDIAN OCEAN >
      • INDIA
      • NEPAL
      • BHUTAN
      • BANGLADESH
      • SRI LANKA
      • MALDIVES
      • SEYCHELLES
      • MAURITIUS
      • COMOROS
      • MADAGASCAR
    • SOUTH EAST ASIA >
      • LAOS
      • VIETNAM
      • CAMBODIA
      • MYANMAR
      • THAILAND
      • MALAYSIA
      • SINGAPORE
      • BRUNEI
      • INDONESIA
      • BALI
      • TIMOR
      • PHILIPPINES
    • IRAN & CENTRAL ASIA >
      • IRAN
      • AFGHANISTAN
      • PAKISTAN
      • UZBEKISTAN
      • TAJIKISTAN
      • KYRGYZSTAN
      • TURKMENISTAN
      • KAZAKHSTAN
      • TAKLAMAKAN & THE UYGHURS
    • NORTH & NORTH EAST ASIA >
      • CHUKOTKA & KAMCHATKA
      • SAKHA (YAKUTIA)
      • JAPAN
      • MANCHURIA
      • KOREA
      • BURYATIA
      • MONGOLIA
      • CHINA
      • TIBET
    • NORTH AMERICA >
      • CANADA
      • UNITED STATES
    • MESOAMERICA >
      • MEXICO
      • GUATEMALA
      • BELIZE
      • EL SALVADOR
      • HONDURAS
      • NICARAGUA
      • COSTA RICA
      • PANAMA
    • THE CARIBBEAN >
      • CUBA
      • JAMAICA
      • HAITI
      • DOMINICAN REPUBLIC
      • PUERTO RICO
      • MARTINIQUE
      • TRINIDAD & TOBAGO
    • SOUTH AMERICA >
      • BRAZIL
      • COLOMBIA
      • VENEZUELA
      • GUYANA
      • SURINAME
      • ECUADOR
      • PERU
      • BOLIVIA
      • URUGUAY
      • PARAGUAY
      • ARGENTINA
      • CHILE
    • POLYNESIA >
      • EASTER ISLAND
      • TAHITI & FRENCH POLYNESIA
      • SAMOA
      • TONGA
    • MICRONESIA >
      • MARSHALL ISLANDS
      • PALAU
      • KIRIBATI
    • MELANESIA >
      • PAPUA NEW GUINEA
      • NEW CALEDONIA
      • VANUATU
      • FIJI
      • SOLOMON ISLANDS
    • AUSTRALASIA >
      • AUSTRALIA
      • NEW ZEALAND
    • ANTARCTICA >
      • EXPLORATION
  • AUTOBIOGRAPHICA & MARGINALIA
    • The Four Riders
    • The Flight of the Crimson Angel
    • Becoming undead
    • Transition
    • LIFESTYLE
    • ON LANGUAGES
    • FALCONRY
    • NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY >
      • PLANTS >
        • BOTANIC GARDENS
        • FORESTS
      • BUTTERFLIES
      • AMPHIBIANS & REPTILES
      • BIRDS
      • MAMMALS
      • WATER & AQUATIC LIFE
      • EARTH
      • LIGHT
    • GARDEN & DESERT. Erotic Journal
  • News & Events
    • Void in the making. RESEARCH BLOG
  • TEXTS
  • Contact

GARDEN & DESERT
​
Erotic Journal

Adventures of a scholar in the post-pandemic world - Day 10

21/4/2020

0 Comments

 
Every day I sleep longer; today it was past 2 pm when I finally decided to get up to bring some coffee. I say to myself these are the last days before getting back to full activity. The state of emergency in Portugal is supposed to end 2nd May, if I'm not mistaken. Thus eight or nine days to enjoy this emptiness and leisure. I spend my nights seeing movies, some valuable, some less valuable. Last night it was a movie about a German war prisoner crossing Siberia, As far as my feet will carry me. Recommendable. There is no more news from Poland, just conjectures, signs, omens. 
I am very far from all my past academic work. It is a major break. My last, pendent works were for Poland. There is this essay on Islam and Christianity that had peer-reviews in Przegląd Orientalistyczny, and the other one, for Teksty Drugie, that seems to have no outcome. I should ask them about it. I was also trying to write an essay in English for my Silesian colleague. But I feel this is the moment of laisser tomber. Poland does not need my essays on Islam and Christianity any more, no need for that sort of loose historico-Quranic recollections. Nor essays about travels. Nor essays about languages of the humanity, living, dead or dying. No need of anything I might say. The time of intellectual activity is over; the time of fighting for having an academe is over. 
Anyway, they never truly wanted me, needed me. All those years, I was an unwelcome addition to things. A woman who narzuca się. An expression without an English equivalent, connotative of unwelcome sexual attention and readiness. Only men are allowed to have such attitudes, not women. 
Ah, that is just a noise of words, shallow bitterness, that doesn't really matter any longer, not even for me. This is a closed chapter, a thing that is no more. 
All links are dissolved. It could be something private, a marriage ending in divorce. I have largely avoided private catastrophes, I just have to deal with this. It could be worse. 
Things ceased to matter. There is only a bleak, snowy landscape from now on.  
And I turn my back on it. 
There is Leiden, Oxford, still. I wonder what will happen now, if Great Britain returns to Europe. I suppose it will. There will be European Union again. There will be life. There will be university. There will be books. Libraries. Mahogany bookshelves. Flowers. Those tall lilies for which I never had a suitable jar in Leiden. 
It has often been said that there is no European identity, that European Union is not a homeland to anyone. But in this emergency it is to its colours, if any, that I am attached. It is my homeland, I have no other. The only thing that brings us together, between Leiden and Oxford, and Paris, and Heidelberg. Between Christians and Muslims, sedentary and migrants, and refugee intellectuals. The only thing that stands for true life, among China and Russia, and United States. The only safe heaven, the only place on earth to be free, and to work for freedom, for everyone.
There is still a chance any day now the message from France will come. That I have my place granted in Paris, for the coming months. That I can work on my project of the Poetics of the Void. Write my first book. That everything is just hunky-dory. 
I can return to my ideas any moment. Read again, learn Arabic again. I can still be whoever I wanted, it's not too late. An Orientalist. 
As the doors of Middle Europe are closing behind my back, I feel a great void of any competence, of anything that might imply status, accumulated achievements, research experience. I feel blank like a newly bought notebook. Starting from zero, from a flat surface, from a bare polder.  
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    blog archives

    February 2022
    December 2021
    September 2021
    July 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    November 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • ABOUT
  • THEORY & EXPERIMENTS
    • BEYOND TRANSMISSION
    • DESERT
    • EROTICISM OF TRACE
    • INTIMATE MICROSPHERES
    • NON-CULTURAL MORPHOGENESIS
    • PINWHEELS
    • POETICS OF THE VOID
    • SYMBOLIC MATRIX
  • RESEARCH & PROJECTS
    • DISCIPLINES >
      • LITERARY THEORY
      • COMPARATIVE LITERATURE
      • GLOBAL LITERARY STUDIES
      • GLOBAL HISTORY OF IDEAS
      • CULTURAL THEORY & ANALYSIS
    • AREAS >
      • ISLAMIC STUDIES
      • CLASSICAL ARAB LITERATURE
      • MAGHREBIAN STUDIES
      • MEDITERRANEAN STUDIES
      • EURO-MEDITERRANEAN LITERATURE
      • ROMANCE MEDIEVAL & EARLY MODERN STUDIES
      • FRENCH & EUROPEAN FRANCOPHONE LITERATURES
      • PORTUGUESE STUDIES
      • LUSOPHONE AFRICAN STUDIES
      • LATIN AMERICAN STUDIES
    • FIELDS >
      • TRANSCULTURAL HUMANITIES
      • TRANSCOLONIAL & TRANSINDIGENOUS STUDIES
      • MARITIME HUMANITIES
      • APOCALYPTIC STUDIES
      • EROTICISM & SEXUALITY STUDIES
      • PLANT & ANIMAL STUDIES
    • TOPICS >
      • TRAVEL LITERATURE
      • WRITINGS ON ART
    • UNSOLVED QUESTIONS >
      • LANGUAGE BEYOND MEANING
  • TRAVELS & LITERATURE
    • ARCTIC & SCANDINAVIA >
      • GREENLAND
      • ICELAND
      • NORWAY
      • SWEDEN
      • FINLAND
      • DENMARK
    • EASTERN EUROPE >
      • ESTONIA
      • LATVIA
      • LITHUANIA
      • RUSSIA
      • BELARUS
      • UKRAINE
      • POLAND
      • Forty Years of Travel in Poland
      • CZECH REPUBLIC
      • SLOVAKIA
      • HUNGARY
      • ROMANIA
      • MOLDOVA
    • WESTERN EUROPE >
      • IRELAND
      • SCOTLAND
      • GREAT BRITAIN
      • NETHERLANDS
      • BELGIUM
      • LUXEMBURG
      • GERMANY
      • AUSTRIA
      • LIECHTENSTEIN
      • SWITZERLAND
      • FRANCE
      • MIDI
      • ITALY
      • VENICE
      • SICILY
      • MALTA
      • CATALONIA
      • SPAIN
      • PORTUGAL
      • CANARY ISLANDS
    • THE BALKANS >
      • SLOVENIA
      • CROATIA
      • SERBIA
      • ALBANIA
      • BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA
      • MONTENEGRO
      • BULGARIA
      • NORTH MACEDONIA
      • GREECE
    • CAUCASUS >
      • GEORGIA
      • ARMENIA
      • AZERBAIJAN
      • CHECHNYA & INGUSHETIA
      • DAGESTAN
      • A Ride across the Caucasus
    • MIDDLE EAST >
      • EGYPT
      • TURKEY
      • CAPPADOCIA
      • CYPRUS
      • LEBANON
      • ISRAEL
      • PALESTINE
      • SYRIA
      • IRAQ
      • KUWAIT
      • JORDAN
      • SAUDI ARABIA
      • QATAR
      • UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
      • BAHRAIN
      • OMAN
      • YEMEN
    • MAGHREB & SAHEL >
      • AL-ANDALUS
      • MOROCCO
      • TUNISIA
      • ALGERIA
      • LIBYA
      • SAHRAWI REPUBLIC
      • MAURITANIA
      • MALI
      • BURKINA FASO
      • NIGER
      • CHAD
      • SUDAN
      • FULANI WORLD
      • MANDINGA WORLD
    • WEST AFRICA >
      • SENEGAL
      • GAMBIA
      • CAPE VERDE
      • GUINEA-BISSAU
      • GUINEA
      • SIERRA LEONE
      • IVORY COAST
      • GHANA
      • SAO TOME & PRINCIPE
      • TOGO
      • BENIN
      • NIGERIA
      • CAMEROON
      • EQUATORIAL GUINEA
      • CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC
      • GABON
    • THE HORN OF AFRICA >
      • ETHIOPIA
      • ERITREA
      • DJIBOUTI
      • SOMALIA
    • THE SOUTH OF AFRICA >
      • CONGO
      • UGANDA
      • KENYA
      • RWANDA
      • BURUNDI
      • TANZANIA
      • ANGOLA
      • ZAMBIA
      • MALAWI
      • MOZAMBIQUE
      • ZIMBABWE
      • NAMIBIA
      • BOTSWANA
      • LESOTHO
      • ESWATINI
      • SOUTH AFRICA
    • INDIA & INDIAN OCEAN >
      • INDIA
      • NEPAL
      • BHUTAN
      • BANGLADESH
      • SRI LANKA
      • MALDIVES
      • SEYCHELLES
      • MAURITIUS
      • COMOROS
      • MADAGASCAR
    • SOUTH EAST ASIA >
      • LAOS
      • VIETNAM
      • CAMBODIA
      • MYANMAR
      • THAILAND
      • MALAYSIA
      • SINGAPORE
      • BRUNEI
      • INDONESIA
      • BALI
      • TIMOR
      • PHILIPPINES
    • IRAN & CENTRAL ASIA >
      • IRAN
      • AFGHANISTAN
      • PAKISTAN
      • UZBEKISTAN
      • TAJIKISTAN
      • KYRGYZSTAN
      • TURKMENISTAN
      • KAZAKHSTAN
      • TAKLAMAKAN & THE UYGHURS
    • NORTH & NORTH EAST ASIA >
      • CHUKOTKA & KAMCHATKA
      • SAKHA (YAKUTIA)
      • JAPAN
      • MANCHURIA
      • KOREA
      • BURYATIA
      • MONGOLIA
      • CHINA
      • TIBET
    • NORTH AMERICA >
      • CANADA
      • UNITED STATES
    • MESOAMERICA >
      • MEXICO
      • GUATEMALA
      • BELIZE
      • EL SALVADOR
      • HONDURAS
      • NICARAGUA
      • COSTA RICA
      • PANAMA
    • THE CARIBBEAN >
      • CUBA
      • JAMAICA
      • HAITI
      • DOMINICAN REPUBLIC
      • PUERTO RICO
      • MARTINIQUE
      • TRINIDAD & TOBAGO
    • SOUTH AMERICA >
      • BRAZIL
      • COLOMBIA
      • VENEZUELA
      • GUYANA
      • SURINAME
      • ECUADOR
      • PERU
      • BOLIVIA
      • URUGUAY
      • PARAGUAY
      • ARGENTINA
      • CHILE
    • POLYNESIA >
      • EASTER ISLAND
      • TAHITI & FRENCH POLYNESIA
      • SAMOA
      • TONGA
    • MICRONESIA >
      • MARSHALL ISLANDS
      • PALAU
      • KIRIBATI
    • MELANESIA >
      • PAPUA NEW GUINEA
      • NEW CALEDONIA
      • VANUATU
      • FIJI
      • SOLOMON ISLANDS
    • AUSTRALASIA >
      • AUSTRALIA
      • NEW ZEALAND
    • ANTARCTICA >
      • EXPLORATION
  • AUTOBIOGRAPHICA & MARGINALIA
    • The Four Riders
    • The Flight of the Crimson Angel
    • Becoming undead
    • Transition
    • LIFESTYLE
    • ON LANGUAGES
    • FALCONRY
    • NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY >
      • PLANTS >
        • BOTANIC GARDENS
        • FORESTS
      • BUTTERFLIES
      • AMPHIBIANS & REPTILES
      • BIRDS
      • MAMMALS
      • WATER & AQUATIC LIFE
      • EARTH
      • LIGHT
    • GARDEN & DESERT. Erotic Journal
  • News & Events
    • Void in the making. RESEARCH BLOG
  • TEXTS
  • Contact