It is a funny feeling that since I said good bye to my ex-homeland, I've got a strange, pervert interest in Russian language and culture. I have been seeing several war movies in which they shouted: Strelat', strelat', tanki idut, dawaj zdies granat, etc. I have enjoyed it greatly till 3 am this morning. Barbarian avengers that one day will come for you.
On the other hand, another pervert pleasure is to observe the Worldometers' covid page, not just to see the pandemic retroceding, but also to check the last column, the population of Poland. It diminishes daily by about a hundred. I memorised the last three digits, they were 543 on Sunday, then 430 yesterday, and they are 317 today. It is mesmerizing to see a nation die out just like this, from one erroneous decision to another, like grains of sand falling down and down and down in a monstrous clepsydra. Meanwhile, I have also read an article in Le Figaro concerning class division and income in France. They admit that the bottom 30% of the population is the lower class, the large 50% the middle class, and the 20% that remains is the upper class. It is a democratic, merciful sociology. I know the classical works that acknowledge only 1,8 to 2,5% of people as the proper upper class. Be that as it may, according to the scale indicated in the article, myself with my 4 465 euro to spend per month, I would be quite well into the upper class. It surprises me greatly. I have been so thoroughly educated to be poor that it hardly enters my mind that I might ever be considered rich, especially here in the West. I would rather imagine pretty well everyone around has much more money than me. More money, more competence, more education than me. A disastrous illusion, like all illusions.
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February 2021
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